


Remembrance

by Roguefemme



Series: Master's Daughter Extras [5]
Category: Anita Blake: Vampire Hunter - Laurell K. Hamilton
Genre: F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-09
Updated: 2020-02-09
Packaged: 2021-02-26 11:27:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,374
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22640401
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Roguefemme/pseuds/Roguefemme
Summary: Mara Blake grew up believing herself an only child, until at the age of eighteen she learned that was never true. Now she has to mourn the twin brother she never knew about, and she and her brother's father Richard must come to grips with the familial bond that she didn't know about and he couldn't bear to acknowledge.Chapter 1. Mara and Richard meet in their shared mourning.Chapter 2. What might have been.
Series: Master's Daughter Extras [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/873204
Comments: 5
Kudos: 4





	1. Remembrance

I looked around the darkened cemetery as I got out of the car. It wasn't a horrible place; in fact it was probably rather pretty in daylight. Still, he didn't belong here. Emrys's hands rested on my shoulders and I leaned back against him, grateful for his strength.

"I could still go with you," he said softly, and I smiled up at him.

"Thank you, _cariad_, but I should do this alone." He nodded, and I kissed his cheek and stood holding him for a moment. I was stalling and I knew it, so I gave his arm a light squeeze and walked through the wrought-iron gates into the shadowed cemetery.

As I began to walk up the correct row, I discerned a dark shape. Though the darkness made judging distance more difficult, somehow I knew the person was at _his_ grave. As I got closer I recognized the visitor. _Of course he would be here._

He looked up as I approached, and in the dim light Richard Zeeman's eyes seemed like pools of darkness.

"Mara," he said quietly.

"Richard," I acknowledged, and we both looked at the small headstone in silence.

_Daniel Francis Blake_   
_b. and d. November 21, 1997_   
_You lived long enough to be loved._

  
"I thought he must have been yours," I said. "So much makes sense now."

He cleared his throat roughly. "You didn't know. I saw it in your face at the meeting when you talked about him."

"No, Papa only told me the night before." We spoke in hushed tones though there was no one to hear except Caden. No one living, anyway.

"It's just as well. A child doesn't need a burden like that." Generous of him, but then Richard had always been like that- possessed of a kindness and generosity that ill-accorded the rage he wore like a protective cloak. "They resuscitated him, did you know that?" 

"No, I didn't."

"He lived almost two hours. Two hours I watched them struggle to keep my son alive." He looked up at me and smiled, and there was a world of sadness in that smile. "I didn't get to hold him, but they let me touch him once, with the gloves. He held my finger. He was so weak, but it was like he knew me, was reaching out to me."

Tears stung at my eyes. My brother had lived, if only for a few hours. I wondered if the two of us had even been in the same room in all that time. Doubtful; he had been born first and immediately whisked off to intensive care while I was still being born.

"It's strange," I mused. "I had gotten used to the idea that I was an only child, and always would be. Now I know I never was."

"He tried," Richard whispered as if he hadn't heard me. "He just didn't have the strength. They said his lungs weren't formed enough." He didn't have to say it; I heard it in his voice- _Why not? Why were you able to survive, and not him?_ Tears were streaming unimpeded down my cheeks now. Why indeed.

"I never blamed you," Richard said after another of those sharp throat-clearings. "It's just that... after they couldn't resuscitate him the last time, I walked out into the waiting room and there was Jean-Claude holding you, with all the others crowded around him. All so happy, while I was mourning my son. He looked up, and... I know it was only joy in his face, but at the time, the way I felt, it was like triumph- _I win again. My child lives, and yours died._

"Nathaniel and Jason saw my face and came to comfort me." He laughed humorlessly, "_Nathaniel_, of all people. But I came closer and saw you, and you turned your head and looked at me with Jean-Claude's eyes, and I couldn't stand it. I left and didn't go back." He looked back down at the headstone. "Daniel had my eyes."

"Daniel..." I finally managed. "For your brother?"

"My grandfather," he answered. "There's a Daniel in every generation of my family. I didn't even mind that he had your mother's last name, so long as he was Daniel."

"He was the only one I told," he added almost absently. "My brother Daniel. I couldn't tell my parents. They would have been heartbroken that they never even got to see him. He came with me the first year- what would have been my Daniel's first birthday. Your mother came the first few years too, but I guess she decided to focus on her living child. I can't really blame her," he said bleakly.

I imagined Richard coming here alone every year, mourning another year without his child while across town my father and the others celebrated another year with his. And I wondered, if he had lived, would my brother and I be celebrating our eighteenth birthday together today? What would he have been like? Would he have gotten Richard's height, and ribbed me about being short like our mother? Would we have been in the same classes, studied together for tests? Would he have played soccer with Bobby, or flirted with Cameron? What would he have thought of Emrys? It hurt that I would never know. 

I rested a hand on Richard's shoulder. He glanced up at me with a smile, a small but real one, and covered my hand with his larger one. We remained like that, in silence, for some time. 

"Do you want to see a picture of him?" Richard asked me quietly.

"Yes, please."

He took out his wallet, which fell open to a picture as if it had been held open there time after time, and handed it to me. The infant in the photo was fragile-looking, an impression only enhanced by the tubes and needles running into him. His face was uncovered, though. Richard was right- he did have his eyes. The rest of his features were more like Mother's, and I could tell his skin was paler than Richard's, though it would have been darker than mine. I cleared my throat.

"May I have a copy of this picture?"

Richard didn't smile exactly, but one corner of his mouth curved upward and his face was softer when he looked up at me. "Sure, I'll have one made for you." He stood, taking a final look at the inscription, and turned to leave.

"Do you need a lift somewhere?" I offered.

"Thanks, I drove here." He gave me a brief smile. "I'm glad we talked," he said quietly. "It's about time I remembered you're still my son's sister."

I smiled back, and as he walked away, I knelt to look at my brother's grave again.

Next year, I resolved. Next year, Richard wouldn't be here alone. 


	2. What Might Have Been

  
  
_"Richard, help me catch them!" Anita yelled, and Richard's attention was drawn to two little figures dashing toward the woods.  
  
"Danny! Mara! You heard your mother!" Richard yelled, but the only response he got was giggles drifting back as they dashed into the trees, the ghostly-pale little girl in the lead with her darker-skinned brother hard on her heels. "Partners in crime," he muttered, and vaulted smoothly over the porch railing after the small miscreants.  
  
_

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

_  
  
But the twins were too much for Anita to handle, and the day came when a decision had to be made.  
  
"My daughter will live with me," Jean-Claude said in a tone he usually reserved for his capacity as Master of the City. "I already have rooms prepared. Asher and I will give her and her brother every comfort, as well as a proper upbringing."  
  
"I want my son with me, Jean-Claude," Richard scowled at the vampire. Their relationship had improved greatly with the shared joy (and adversity) of fatherhood, but that didn't mean Richard was willing to hand his son over to Jean-Claude.  
  
"We're not breaking them up," Anita informed them with one of her fiercest glares. "That is not happening on top of them having to leave here." The look that crossed her face was fleeting, but it was clear how guilty she felt. She hadn't lied about not being a maternal personality, but she did love her children. "You take both, or neither."  
  
Richard sat in silence, shamed. Mara was a good child, and he did like her and care about her welfare, but she wasn't his and he could admit to himself that he would never be able to pretend otherwise. He sighed and bowed his head, letting his hair hide his face. Maybe Jean-Claude was a better man than he was. Or maybe it was just that Jean-Claude had won in the end. And he was about to win again, for all Richard hated it.  
  
"There's only one solution," he admitted reluctantly. "The twins move to the Circus. And so do I."  
  
Jean-Claude and Anita's reactions were almost amusing enough to distract him from the vanishing of his dream of a normal life. But no matter. His son was worth it.  
  
_

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

_  
  
Richard walked into the Circus, gladly dropping his briefcase and shoving his hand through his thick hair. "Where's the kids?" he queried.  
  
"They were all in the common room, last I saw," the guard replied.  
  
The common room, which had been the playroom until the twins began to object to that name, was located between Mara's bedroom and Danny's. Richard walked through the halls, following a route so familiar he could have walked it in his sleep.   
  
Danny and Cameron were sprawled on the floor in front of the television watching a movie, while Bobby and Mara were seated side-by-side in front of the computer, cheerfully arguing about the game they were absorbed in.  
  
"They're just a bunch of halflings, we can take them!" Bobby informed Mara.  
  
"Try dozens, Bobby! And our missile troops got slaughtered attacking that castle!" Mara protested. "We should go around them until we get reinforcements."  
  
Danny gave them an annoyed glare over his shoulder. "Do you two mind keeping the tactical arguments down so we can hear this?"  
  
Mara and Bobby made faces at him, which he and Cameron returned.   
  
Richard smiled to himself. Bobby, who at ten was the oldest of the group, had at first had scorned to associate with children two years younger than himself. But in the face of their fun he soon forgot his superiority of age enough to join their games. (Richard suspected that Mara's being the only other hybrid child in St. Louis did a lot to relax Bobby's attitude as well.) The three became fast friends, and Jason dubbed them "the three Musketeers". The nickname caught on, and soon they were called the Musketeers by most of the Circus dwellers. Cameron and her mother had moved in several years before, and had quickly integrated into both the Circus family and the Musketeers. She and Mara quickly became confidantes, but the blond girl was often found in Danny's company as well. Richard was pleased by that; it was good for Danny to have another human child around so that Mara and Bobby's hybrid abilities wouldn't make him feel inferior.  
  
"Bobby, you doofus, I told you not to attack them!" Mara yelped, and Richard walked away before his laughter escaped him.  
  
  
_

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

_  
  
"Might I remind you, _mon loup, _it was you and Anita who wanted them in school 'with kids their own age'?" Jean-Claude reminded him, mimicking Richard's Midwest-American accent with the last words.  
  
Richard glared up at the vampire from where he knelt next to his son, holding an ice pack to Danny's face. "This might not have happened if they'd been in school from the start."  
  
Mara's inelegant snort expressed her opinion of that. "I told you to stay out of it, you big dork," she scolded her brother, her annoyance not hiding her upset and concern.  
  
"What, I'm supposed to just stand there and watch my sister do the fighting?" he demanded, and winced at the pain the exclamation sent through his bruised face.  
  
"Me and Bobby, yes! We heal faster than you, Danny. Let us handle it."  
  
"I don't need hybrid advantages to kick some mouthy punks' asses," Daniel snapped.  
  
Mara's answer was forestalled by another voice.  
  
"What you need," Caden came into the kitchen and looked down at the nearly-fourteen-year-old twins, "is to be able to fight properly, both of you. It is long overdue that you learn to defend yourselves against enemies far more dangerous than untrained adolescents."  
  
"And who's gonna teach us, you?" Danny demanded, then muttered "ow," as his face pained him again. Mara shot him an exasperated glance.   
  
"Yes, I will," Caden responded evenly.  
  
Richard looked at Jean-Claude uneasily. Caden had been with the kiss for less than half a year, and if a fraction of what Richard heard about him was true, he was a supremely dangerous man. The thought of putting the children into his hands made Richard decidedly nervous. _But they're not children anymore, _Richard thought with a sigh. _And he's right that they do need to learn.  
  
That is right, mon ami, _Jean-Claude told him silently. _And Caden is the best man to teach them. They will be safe in his hands. If you do not trust him, _he added, clearly feeling Richard's doubt,_ trust me. You know I would never allow the children to come to harm. _Richard dropped his eyes and sighed. He didn't like the idea, but what choice was there?  
  
Mara, seeing the approval in her father's eyes, nodded, a small smile curving one side of her mouth. "Thank you, Caden. I think that's a good idea." Danny glared at her, and she glared back. "If you don't want to do it, then don't, but I am," she informed him. "Like hell you're doing it without me," Danny snapped. Ordinarily Richard would have corrected his swearing, but in this case he agreed with his son's sentiment.   
_

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

_  
  
Richard sat at the table, marveling. Had it really been sixteen years since the twins were born, and nearly twelve years since he had come to the Circus to live with them? There was a time when he had hated Jean-Claude, perhaps more than anyone else, but now the two men shared a bond no one could break, stronger than vampire marks- their children.  
  
He smiled as Danny - Daniel, Richard corrected himself, he didn't want to be called by his childhood nickname anymore- twirled Cammie around the dance floor and Bobby pulled a laughingly protesting Mara onto the dance floor. Daniel and Cammie's first 'official' date was to take place the next day, courtesy of Daniel's brand new car, which was identical to Mara's except for the color. _No date for Mara, though, _Richard thought, feeling a hint of sadness for her. He understood her fear and Jean-Claude's, but Richard privately worried that she was overreacting by rejecting any hint of romantic relationships at all. It couldn't be easy for her to watch her twin and one of her best friends pair off while she was left alone.  
  
However, if Richard's lycanthrope nose and fatherly instincts gave any indication, Bobby had the motivation to neatly solve the problem. It wasn't a stretch to imagine the four becoming two couples.  
  
"Traditions should be honored, don't you agree?" someone inquired calmly.   
  
Something about that raised Richard's paternal antennae and he looked up, alert to potential trouble.  
  
He focused on the speaker and was shocked when he identified the man who rested his hand on Mara's shoulder and held out his other hand to guide her up from her chair. The actions could have been innocuous, but clearly weren't. Speechless, Richard turned to Jean-Claude. The Master of the City returned his look, his expression inscrutable, but did nothing to stop it.  
  
Richard looked back just in time to see Caden give Mara her first kiss. Mara had at first seemed as shocked as Richard, but when the long kiss ended, her rapt expression and the new light in Caden's eyes made Richard very much doubt it would be their last.  
  
So much for the four Musketeers paired off together, he thought. Poor Bobby.  
  
Daniel, who had been sitting with his arm draped over Cammie's shoulders, nearly sputtered with indignation, his brown eyes flashing. "What... who does he think he is..."  
  
Mara, busy watching Caden vanish into the crowd, didn't hear a word of it.  
  
  
  
"What the hell?" Daniel exclaimed at the sight of his sister in a passionate embrace with Caden. "Mara, what are you doing?"  
  
The two pulled back from their kiss to look at the new arrivals, but Mara made no move to leave Caden's arms. "The same thing you've been doing with Cammie for months now, you big hypocrite," she informed her brother, annoyed.  
  
Daniel ignored her words, stalking closer to glare up at Caden. It crossed Richard's mind that the tall vampire now had only a few inches of height on Daniel, unlike the much more petite Mara. Not that that would matter if it came to a fight.  
  
Daniel glared up at the vampire. "I want to know what your intentions are toward my sister," he demanded.  
  
Richard winced at the thought of how easily Caden could kill Daniel if he wanted to. He knew Daniel was pissed that Mara had not ended up with Bobby, but Richard had never thought his son would do something this reckless.  
  
Apparently Mara's thoughts were along the same lines. "Danny, you lunatic, are you trying to get killed?"  
  
"No," Caden said, and Richard got the rare experience of seeing the dour vampire smile a bit. "It is all right, Mara." He gently stroked the back of his fingers across her cheek, an unmistakably tender gesture, then released her and turned to face Daniel. "My intention is to love your sister for the rest of my years, if she will have me.  
  
Mara's scowl at her brother faded as she looked back at Caden. Caden turned, letting her see his eyes, then slowly extended his hand to her. She seemed lost in astonishment for a moment, then took Caden's hand and looked up at him, a small, uncertain smile brightening her face. In that moment it was as if nothing existed to the couple except each other.  
  
"You give your word on that?" Daniel asked, his tone marginally softer.  
  
"I do," Caden murmured, not taking his eyes off Mara.  
  
Daniel nodded curtly and left the room.  
  
  
  
Richard cleared his throat quietly and addressed Caden. "Thanks for not flattening Daniel for that. I'm sure he didn't mean to insult you."  
  
"I am not insulted," Caden said, his kind expression softening the almost harsh angularity of his face. "He did what any man of honour would do. In fact, I had a similar conversation with my twin sister's bridegroom on her wedding day."  
  
Richard lifted an eyebrow, a smile tugging at his mouth. "You did?"  
  
He nodded with a hint of a smile. "I did. I told her new husband that if he treated her well, he and I would be friends for many years, but if he treated her ill, we would not be enemies for very long at all."  
  
"What did he say?"  
  
"He said nothing. He knew I had the ability to carry out my threat." Caden's eyes had an unmistakably wicked sparkle.  
  
Richard laughed out loud. "I'll just bet."  
  
  
  
Richard was far less amused when he confronted his son later. "Danny, what the hell were you thinking? Caden could have killed you without breaking a sweat, you know that! Why on earth would you challenge him like that?"  
  
Daniel turned to his father with an expression in his eyes that had nothing of the child in it. "I had to, Dad. She's my sister."  
_

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  
Richard woke from a sound sleep and stared into the darkened room, his son's voice ringing through his mind even though Daniel had never lived long enough to speak.  
  
_I had to, Dad. She's my sister._  
  
He wiped tears from his eyes, remembering the image of the twins together, inseparable. Then he thought of Mara alone, only beginning to understand what she had lost.   
  
"I'm sorry, Danny," Richard whispered to the darkness. "You're right. I'll do better."   
  



End file.
